Category Archives: Poetry

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And I will hold on to you

Hold me.
Hold me in the middle of the night like I’m the best dream you’ve ever had and to let go is to awaken at the climax.

Run your palm along the length of my spine,
Relish in the way my back arches in response
Press your fingertips gently into my flesh and I will burn for you

Darling, place your lips on mine
Kiss me like you need this, like my mouth is an oxygen mask and this bed is a downing flight because, well…baby we’re going down tonight

Our hips a perfect fit
My breath on your neck
The drip of our sweat
I moan and you gasp
And I swear this is like the best dream I’ve ever had and I will hold on to you as if letting would be to awaken at the climax…

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Feeling nostalgic…

I was going through a few old poetry notebooks from years ago and thought I’d share some random lines I’ve written over the years…

I believe the truth doesn’t always set you free,  it’s just an exchange from one prison to another…

 

The heart holds on to what the mind cannot keep safe, the heart forever  remembers even if your mind draws a blank…

 

The thing about me is, I don’t mind being lost. That’s how you find the best life has to offer…

 

I’m just a girl, searching for someone to hold me close
The way the sky holds the moon, the way the summer holds June…

 

Love is like a hurricane, stronger than our human frames, but we are the miracles of the storm, still standing and I won’t let you fall…

 

Sometimes mistakes are masterpiece miracles masked by messes, and though at the moment it may feel like a disaster, in reality it is merely destiny demanding your attention…

Her eyes are burning buildings he’s trapped within…

Our choices sometimes betray us, and we stand there, backs bleeding, in various states of shock and awe…

So, that was completely random but for some reason these lines stood out to me. Maybe I’ll post some of the full length poems one day. Anyway, Just thought I’d share some throwbacks with you and hopefully I will have new content to post for you guys soon!

 

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New Poem! (Loving you)

As promised, I have released a new poem! I know it’s been a while, but I’m back, hope you enjoy!

Loving you is uncomfortable like realizing there’s no toilet paper after you’ve already used the bathroom
It is inconvenient like getting a bad tattoo in a time before tattoos could be removed
Loving you is a hailstorm of regrets with no shelter to await it’s passing
It is a car crash with no survivors
And a metaphor with no meaning.

I should have listened to my diary when it told me you were not the home my heart was searching for
Loving you is random like rain only falling on one half of the street
I just watch, baffled wondering if it’ll ever make it to the other side,
It is off beat, just when I think I have it’s code deciphered the rhythm of loving you switches tempo
It is painful loving you, like lemon juice licking paper cuts or sea salt swimming along the channels of future scars.

Loving you is a time loop where every day is a nightmare because I wake up still missing you, still loving you, still missing you, still…
Loving you is a life sentence, it is black bars and keyless locks
it is gavel bangs for heartbeats attempting to call for order

I bet I’ve bled more pens dry writing about what loving you has done to me than you’ve shed tears over this, us.
Tell me, did loving me hurt you this bad?
Were my eyes ever trigger happy to your soul?
Did the memory of my love leave death echos haunting your heart?
Did loving me ever leave you feeling like you were breathing with punctured lungs?

Loving me must have brought out the liar in you
Because I remember you told me I was beautiful I replied that I was broken
And you said what’s the difference? That the beauty was in between the pieces of me glued back together.
And I believed you because loving you makes me foolish, it makes me hopeful, it makes me human.

I remember the first time I ever laid eyes on your flaws
Do you remember how I never held them against you ?
I fell harder for you instead.
I’ve got the scars to prove it housed in picture frames packed away in a box I only find the courage to open on the days that I’m missing you, but when am I ever not missing you?

Loving you is a full time job making minimum wage even on the best days where I come in and do overtime I still never get what I deserve
It is dissatisfying to love you, do you know that?
Is that why you pushed, why you fought like hell to free your heart from my grasp?
Were you aware that loving you was this excruciating?
If so love, why didn’t you sound the sirens sooner,
Before my innocent take on matters of the heart became distorted
Twisted and contorted so much so that I couldn’t tell the difference between loving you and hating myself

I want to go back to the moment our eyes first locked
And look away.
No, that’s a lie.
I want to go back to the moment our eyes first locked
And do everything the same
Because loving you, as much as it makes me a martyr, is something I can’t undo

We wore each others imperfections perfectly but
Even on our worst days we were beautiful
Some would argue broken
But I say, what’s the difference?

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The Limits…

As a kid, did you ever walked the lines of the road,

one foot in front of the other in a balancing act

pretending you were miles above the ground

one misstep and it’s over?

 

It felt like you had the entire world

watching you from below

waiting to see if you’d fall

arms out to keep upright

 

It didn’t matter that the imaginary rope

you were walking gave way to more standing room

what mattered  is that you tried your hardest

to keep going forward, it was important

 

Was it practice?

Were we trying to figure out how much

of a chance of survival we’d have

as if we are testing ourselves?

 

Maybe.

Or maybe were just being kids

doing what kids do

testing limits before we even knew what limits were.

 

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The waiting game

waiting games…

you never realize the rules

until it’s too late.

don’t comprehend you’re playing

prior to figuring out you’re losing.

 

So much lies at stake

when you put faith

in anything other than

what you’ve created.

 

We give our time so effortlessly

to those who’ve promised us with only words

when we should only trust our seconds,

minutes, hours, with those

who have promised us with actions.

 

We lounge on expectations

as if they are meant to support the weight

of our hopes

unaware of how fragile the spine of

intentions, no matter how pure

really are.

 

you’ve felt it too before right?

that pang of pure disappointment

the one that reminds you there was something

you wanted, you waited for

that is no longer yours.

 

it’s all just a part of the waiting game.

you wait and wait and wait for something

that never comes,

 

You don’t win by just sitting there

you win by remembering

what it is you are waiting for in the first place

you win by believing what is meant to be

will be as long as you are willing to go after it.

 

Never forget what it is that drives you

that has the power to propel you forward

while simultaneously keeping you in place

That is how you win.

At everything.

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Those Lies

I’ve been believing those lies again

the ones that are told to us before we are old enough to know what they mean

the ones they poured into our bowls of milk and cereal

while saturday morning cartoons played in the background

on old heavy box shaped televisions with rabbit ears on top

I’ve been living those lies again

the ones that were read to us at bedtime when there was still time to mold minds

the ones they painted perfect with pink dresses  and white horses

that made young girls believe they were princesses who needed knights to protect them

I’ve been sitting by my window waiting for the prince society promised me but it all just leads to more waiting

I’ve been telling those lies again

the ones where I say I’m sure, I’m positive, I know what I’m doing in life

the ones that are the right answer to the probing questions no one really wants to know the answers to.

And people will commend me for being so strong and independent and I’ll let them believe that it’s easy to be this way

There are not really any lies though, just skewed versions of what we want to see as truth

So I guess those lies are okay, right? As long as we don’t tell ourselves the truth…

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It’s Hump day…

Which means Haiku time! Yeah yeah yeah, I know it’s been about a month since the last hump day haiku, sorry guys. I wish I had a better reason than I do. But honestly I have not really been much in a writing mood lately. But I’m going to take the advice I gave a fellow writer, and that’s to keep writing, even if I think it’s crap and I decide not to share I should still write. So here I am writing today. Hopefully it’s not to bad since I’m a bit rusty with the words these days :)

Sometimes life has no logic behind its actions,sometimes it just is

I think this haiku came to me because I’ve come to realize there are often moments that I try to pick apart and make sense of but wind up never finding the answer. And that’s okay. Sometimes things just happen. And as optimistic as it can be to say that ‘it happened for this reason or that’ I think a lot of times it’s just something that happened because it happened. There is no need wasting time and energy trying to put a meaning behind it if it isn’t obvious in the first place. I don’t know if I articulated that the best but like I said I’m a bit rusty with my words right now. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this edition of #HumpDayHaiku thanks for reading, see you here next week!

Send me your #HumpDayHaiku and other links on my twitter! @talichaj

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Free Write Friday

Once upon a time there was a young woman plagued by student loan and other miscellaneous financial debts.
Every day her phone would ring and ring…and ring, her voice mail box would be filled with nothing but strange voices demanding she dial some 1-800 number or else.
One day she actually answered one of the calls from the billion agents desperate to talk to her.
Because of that she was able to discuss her options, update her personal information and convince them that she’d send in a money order to them as soon as possible. Of course the last part was a lie.
Because of that lie her phone rang slightly less than usual as one hound had been thrown off her scent momentarily. Seeing the impact this untruth had, the young woman decided to answer the other collectors calls, giving them all the same lie story. Eventually her phone never rang, she had brought herself some time! She began to relax and not be so paranoid about listening to her messages.
Until finally, the inevitable occurred…the phone rang, with an unfamiliar number that she’d let go to voice mail. Her old pals were back at it again, hip to her game they picked back up with their relentless game of phone tag. The young girl is still looking for her prince to magically erase her debts…